Getting out of a Rut
It happens to the best of us, probably more over this last year than any time in recent history.
Getting stuck in a rut is not fun.
We become disillusioned with our day-to-day. Stuck in a monotony that seems to pull us down, surrounding us with apathy. Sometimes it’s worse than this. We feel hopeless, helpless. We feel like nothing will change, that nothing we do can change things.
And if we feel this way, how can we find meaning? How can we put in effort towards fulfilling work when it feels like our tank is empty all of the time?
A while back I was caught in a rut.
My thoughts spiraled endlessly and apathetically. Eventually, I managed to grab onto a sliver of inspiration, just enough to write a quick checklist that helped me get out of that rut.
Since then I’ve refined this list further and shared it with friends. I can’t guarantee it’ll work for everyone, but hopefully, it helps someone.
Before we get to the list, a quick disclaimer:
This post is not about major depression. If you are dealing with clinical depression, seek professional help or other resources made for your situation.
Now, onto the checklist.
I. Define your guiding lights in your personal and professional lives
Spend some time imagining what your ideal future looks like, no matter how far-fetched. What does your perfect day look like? What’s your perfect career?
Start working backward from there. If that’s what you want your life to be in 5 years, where does it need to be in 1 year? Where do you need to be in 6 months?
With this in mind, what are the next immediate goals?
As an example, your personal goal might be finding a significant other and your professional goal might be getting a promotion at work.
II. Take account of your self-talk
Take some time and reflect on the negative thoughts that are polluting your brain. In my experience when you’re in the midst of a rut it’s easy to allow some negative thoughts to loop endlessly in your mind. Only to find upon reflection that they are irrational.
Perhaps you’ve been telling yourself that you’re bad at your job, or that the people in power at the office are out to get you. That there is no way out from the situation you’ve found yourself in.
Upon reflection pathways forward are clear. First check for rationality. Is there real evidence that you are bad at your job? Is there any evidence that counters that belief?
Even in cases where there is some truth to the negative thoughts, define what aspects are within your control, and what next steps you might take.
For example, perhaps you aren’t a good fit for your current job. It makes sense then that you should focus your effort on finding a new role.
This exercise should help you notice when these thoughts come up again in the coming days, and help you to shut them down when they do. It may also provide some additional goals to focus on.
III. Take account of your time
What ways of spending your time make you happy? Angry? Upset? Sad?
There are some people in my life that I can call knowing I’ll feel better after the conversation than when it started. There are some apps where I know I’ll feel worse having scrolled through them than when I first clicked their icon.
Think about the way you’ve spent your time in the past. Which activities/people/places have brought you relief. Perhaps it’s a hobby that you’ve neglected. Perhaps it’s a friend you haven’t spoken to in some time.
Whatever it is, add it to the list.
IV. Make the plan
After all the above steps are completed, you should have a nice list of goals/actions. Probably a list with too many goals/actions.
Now is the time to prioritize.
What you’re looking for is actions that take the least effort, but still move the needle forward.
Getting out of a rut isn’t about making a big change, it’s about building momentum. When your speed is 0, even the smallest acceleration is huge.
V. Take the first step. Today.
Once you’ve put in all this effort, the worst thing you can do is quit before you’ve built up any momentum. Take this inspiration and use it to make even the smallest step.
A few ways I like to do this:
Phone a friend. If there is a friend you know who always manages to improve your mood, call them. It’s a great first step.
Start a new habit. Find a simple daily habit related to one of your goals, and start it today.
Quit a detrimental habit. Have an app that makes you feel worse? Perhaps a snack that always leaves you feeling sluggish? Delete the app, or throw away the snack. Today is the first day of breaking that habit.
Take a forcing action. Even if you don’t have the energy to move the needle forward today, you can take what I call a “forcing action” to make sure you will tomorrow. If my goal is getting a promotion, a forcing action may be scheduling a meeting with my manager. The action of scheduling a meeting takes nearly no effort, but it forces me to then spend time over the next week preparing for that meeting.
VI. Parting words
The essence of this method is simple.
- Take the time to understand what you want from life.
- Take the smallest possible action that builds momentum towards that life.
Good luck.
2021-09-04