Where is it going?

Where is that little pillbug going?

Recently I was enjoying the sun outside, and I looked down to spot a pillbug on the patio stone beneath my feet.

My eyes were fixated on it as it wandered—seemingly aimlessly—around the stone. Walking in strange curves, circles, occasionally retracing its steps from only moments ago.

To me, it seemed lost.

I wondered what its life must be like. How it makes its decisions.

So low to the ground that pillbug must only perceive what is directly in front of it. And yet, it continues to travel. What is it searching for? Food? Companionship?

From where I sat, far above it, I could see the path it took—the wasted steps, the seemingly confused life it led.

Where is it heading?

How can it possibly decide where to step next when it lacks all the perspective I have? How does it work with such minimal knowledge?

I imagined myself in a field of maize—stalks that rose far above me, my perspective limited to my immediate surroundings. How would I get out?

Might I be frightened?

Sure.

Would that stop me from acting? Stop me from trying my best—with the limited perspective I had—to get to the edge of the field?

No.

I would carry on. I would do all in my power to move forward—the same as anyone else.

And then I realized I’m already in that field. We all are. Every day.

From the perspective of the universe, of a prime mover, of a consciousness we can imagine but cannot understand—we are no different than the pillbug.

Every day we take action based on limited knowledge.

We may understand that the road we take will lead to the grocery store, but do we know enough to predict how tomorrow will look? Five years from now?

How can we take action with such limited information?

How can we choose a direction to travel in a field of maize?

Even considering all this: I am happy.

While I watched that pillbug travel, assuming it was lost, I was enjoying the heat of the sun. I was taking solace in simple pleasure.

At a cosmic level, we are all lost, and yet, we can find contentment.

I’m grateful.

While I was enjoying watching the pillbug, I like to imagine it was enjoying its life as well.

2021-08-01